To Perk the Ears of A Rabbit
by Skinnybooking
Summary: Stuck feeling like a prisoner in Blood's house you find a magazine about how to drive a man crazy with want for you. You know exactly who you want that man to be-Elliot March! Will you drive him crazy or will he drive you crazy trying. Disclaimer: I don't own anything Alice in the country of joker, hearts, clovers or otherwise. It all belongs to QuinRose. Review if you like it!
1. Prologue: Got to love my Hare

**Special thanks to EllaJokea for all her help editing it! Other than that I hope everyone enjoys and thanks for reading!**

_Prologue:_

You huff and sit on the bed. In the last five hours you've been attacked, nearly chopped to pieces, practically killed, and you're pretty sure hit on. That was just the half of it. Why am I even here, you thought lying back on the bed, letting your anger seep into the plush, golden comforter. It's all that stupid rabbit's fault, you mumble. A month ago you were sitting on the grass, waiting for your sister to come back. When all of a sudden a white rabbit comes from out of nowhere. It speaks and forces you to drink some ridiculous vile. Now you're stuck in this strange place called 'Wonderland' and with no escape route out. That includes the palace that you stay at now.

Your host, Blood Depre, is a ruthless monster who finds joy in others pain. Okay maybe he's not that sadistic, you think, but he is a terrible person. Then there's his henchmen, the bloody twins. Don't let their innocent eyes and childish looks deceive you. They are sickle wielding, blood thirsty, predators. When everyone runs away from the crime and the gore, they run to it. It terrifies me to know that two people who look like that can act the complete opposite way. Then there's the one and only Elliot March. He's Blood's right hand man, and the only one I see working. I close my eyes and remember how the twins were chasing me with their torture tools and Elliot swooped in and saved me.

I felt my face growing hot. "No, not now" I sigh. For the last few weeks. I've been trying to catch the March Hare's attention, but to no avail. He just doesn't see me.

*knock, knock*

"who is it?" I ask. A faceless maid walks in, curtsying. "I'm sorry ma'am. I was asked to bring these in, to keep you entertained until the master wants to see you" she said, placing a stack of books on my table. "see me?" I question, hoping my voice wasn't holding the anger that swelled inside of me. "Yes ma'am. See you. Master says he'll call if he have need for you." "Have need for me! Of all the ignorant, ungrateful, pigheaded-" "ma'am, do you need anything else?" The maid inquired, interrupting my rant. "NO!" I growled, turning my back to her. As I heard the door open, I quickly swerved around. "WAIT!" I called. "Yes ma'am" the maid said, curtsying again. "Don't do that." I told her. "Do what?" She inquired. "Curtsying. I hate it, I'm not the queen and don't plan on becoming one." I tell her. "Yes ma'am" she replies. "Oh and don't call me ma'am anymore. Call me (name) from now on" the maid giggled. "yes (name)' she started to curtsy, then stopped. 'Anything (name)?" "No." I told her and then she left.

I hated the way Blood treated me, I fumed. As if I were a child or a prisoner instead of a guest. Hum, I grumble walking over to the stacks of books. They were mostly war books or trash novels, nothing to keep me 'entertained'. I think, pushing the stack off the desk. Then I saw it, on the cover of the _'Wonderland Whisper'._

The headline was _'How to Make Him Want You'_. I instantly thought of Elliot. Did I ever want to make him want me, to kiss me, to touch me. I flushed again, embarrassed by my sudden thoughts of desire. Maybe I shouldn't open this article. I closed my eyes but all I saw was Elliot. Okay, I'm definitely opening this, I thought, picking up the magazine. "Watch out Elliot, I will make you fall for me or my name isn't (name)!" I triumphantly declared.


	2. Chapter 1: The Pearly Whites of Failure

**Hi, hope you guys enjoyed the prologue! Here's chapter one. And comment if possible. It's hard to tell if you like it when everyone remains neutral.**

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><p>I flipped to the first page. It was a picture of a faceless female, walking away from a faceless male. The faceless male was, I assumed, staring at the female. It was hard to tell, but it seemed legitimate. <em>"So you've been trying to get that special guys attention. Trust me, it's not you, it's him. Follow these ten steps to make you go from the 'girl he only met' to the 'girl he won't want to let go!'" <em>

_1. __**Smile at him**_

_Men have said in a study that the most appealing thing to them was a woman smile. If your man, or the guy you're trying to catch is watching you; chances are he notices your smile. It also makes you more approachable and friendly looking._

Smile at him that's all? I think. Seems easy enough. I planned to smile the crap out of him the next morning.

I stared at the looming, wooden doors. Behind those doors stood, the mafioso, his crazy twins and the man of my dreams. You can do this, I tell my racing heart. You can do this. I pushed open the doors and stepped in.

There at the head of the table was Blood Dupre. He could make any woman swoon with one look but knew those tricks didn't work on me, well not completely anyways. I hated the fact that he enjoyed watching me squirm. "Good morning, (name), I assume you slept well last night?" He inquired. "I slept just fine." I scowled at him. He just smiled and winked. The man made me want to take a shower and wipe away the grime I was positive he gave me.

I spotted a chair right next to Elliot and plopped down. "Good morning, onee-chan!" Why don't you sit next to us?" Dee asked me, gesturing to a chair next to his. "No next to me!" Dum says. "Just don't sit next to the stupid chicken bunny." "Yeh he's no fun." Dum chided. I couldn't help but laugh. "What! You two are the stupid ones!" Elliot scolded, his mouth full of some carrot concoction. "Why do you laugh, onee-chan?" Dee asked. "Nothing." I chuckle. "Good morning, (name)." Elliot stated, turning my way.

Now's my chance, I thought. I turned and smiled the smile I'd been practicing in the mirror. "Good morning, Elliot." I reply, hoping he didn't hear my breathlessness. He wore a purple scarf, that bought his eyes out. What really got me was his half buttoned shirt, I saw flecks of muscle, lean and hard peaking out. "Ugh... (Name) why are you smiling at me like that?" "Am I?" I asked, shocked. You pull your hands to your face to cover your embarrassment. "You are." He answered, turning back to his breakfast. Right, we were at the breakfast table. Get a grip on yourself, you whisper, reaching for an apple.

Well that was a bust, you think, sulking back to your room. "Oh! I'm so sorry, miss" a faceless maid apologizes. "No, no you are quite alright.' I reply. 'And call me, (name) from now on, miss is so...so, so formal" I declare. "Yes miss. Oops! I mean yes, (name)" the maid corrects, giggling. "It's fine. I-" that's when I heard him walk around the corner.

'_If your man, or the guy you're trying to catch is watching you' _I recalled

If he's watching me; I have to think fast. When he rounds that corner he'll have no choice but to see me, I'm in the middle of the hallway. "(Name), are you okay?" The maid inquires. "Yeah, I'm fine." I say.

Then I see his brown ears perk around the corner. That's when I turned on the charm. I smile at the maid. "Yes, I'm more than okay. What did you say your name was again?" I ask, as Elliot walks down the hall, talking in hushed tones with a faceless man.

"(Name)." Crap! I missed her name. I smile at her again, willing Elliot to look up. "That's beautiful, now could you say it one more time, if you repeat your name I'll remember it faster. "Okay, (name), it's Lily." I laugh. Elliot looks up. I look back down at Lily like I didn't notice him. I smile again at her, hoping my plans' working. "That's a pretty name for a pretty maid." I twitter. "Thank you (name)!' She gushes 'well I should get back to my job." "You do that." I encourage, aware that Elliot has stopped what he's doing.

I watch as she leaves, then turn around and run into- Elliot. "Elliot!" I gasp. "(Name), you should be careful. The maids and servants are nice, but they're disposable. Don't get too attached, you know? Wouldn't want to see you get hurt." He said, scratching his back. God, does everything he have to do, be so sexy, I think, watching him. I feel my heart beat faster. "(Name)? Are you okay? You've spaced out like twice today." "No, I'm fine." I reply flashing him a smile. "Okay...look I have to go." He called over his shoulder.

That's when I noticed he didn't look at me while he called back. In fact, he didn't look at all at me at during our whole conversation. Well that's great, not only does he not notice me, he doesn't even look at me when we speak. I became angry. That stupid book better have a greater suggestion than step one. I steam, storming off to my room, because step number one failed, miserably.


	3. Chapter 2: Icing on the Cake

On to step number two, I thought opening the magazine.

_**2. No, What do you like to do?**_

_Whoever said that charm school was for the rich and famous, never met you. You, my friend, are flirty and gorgeous. Spend some time with your man. How else can you turn him on, if all you know about him is his name. Ask about his childhood, his favorite food, color, song, etc. Chances are your man will want to spend more time with you if he thinks you're interested in the same things he is. But don't go changing yourself for him, either. That's not attractive._

Don't go changing myself for him. Hum, I mulled. Now how am I going to figure out what Elliot likes? I thought. What did I know about the bunny man? I got up and walked around my room, thinking, hard. Firstly, he hated anyone who called him a rabbit. He'd turn an adorable shade of red. The dark hue against his skin always made you want to brush it away. For him to grab your hand mid air and pull you close. To whisper in your ear "You're the reason I blush. You're the reason I haven't slept. You're the reason..." He'd gently coo, sliding his hand underneath your skirt. You shutter at the thought of him touching you, cupping your butt, pulling you closer against him. You start to lose your breath. "Stop it!" You yell, frustrated.

You weren't planning on thinking that intimately. You wait until your breathing and blood stop rushing. Suddenly tired, you lie on the bed. Now what on Wonderland, could have started that. But you knew the answer as soon as it popped up in your head. You were trying to remember what you knew about him. So he hated being called a rabbit, but indignantly proclaimed he was a hare, _"there is a difference."_

He swears he's not a rabbit, but is always eating some carrot confection. He's Blood's right hand man and hates when the twins are off duty. I realized I knew very little about the man who haunted my dreams. The only true thing I knew about him was that he liked carrots.

Hummmmm, carrots. Maybe I could make something out of that, I thought sleepily. Last thing I remembered before closing my eyes, was the delight on Elliot's face after I cooked him a carrot cake.

My plan for the morning was to scout out the kitchen and figure out what food Elliot liked. Hopefully, it was something without carrots. If not, then I was intent of having one of the maids to teach me how to bake whatever he liked. I could just see his expression now. Walking down the hallway I realized I didn't know where a lot of things were at. So I stopped a maid on the way. "Excuse me." "Yes ma'am?" The maid asked tilting her head. "Please don't call me that." I nervously laughed. "Call you what ma'am?" She inquired, confused. "Call me ma'am. I'm not- I don't- look it's a long story, could you just call me (name) from now on?" "Yes, (name), I can" she chirped. "Good." I replied. The maid started to walk away. "Hey, Hold On!" "Yes, (name)?" "Do you happen to know where the kitchen is?" The faceless maid giggled. "Which part of the kitchen are you planning on visiting?" Which part of the kitchen? How big was this kitchen? I thought. "Ummm, I guess the bakery side." I meekly drew out. "The bread or pastry one?" She asked. I stared at the faceless maid, unsure of what to say. Who knew this mansion was so complicated. "The pastry?" I think aloud, remembering Elliot usually eats sweets. "Oh! I love it down there!' She exclaimed. 'Here I'll show you."

I followed the faceless maid. She took us from the second story hallway down to the first story kitchen. She said that was used only when Blood decided he wanted to cook. So for decoration, pretty much. I thought, rolling my eyes. In the back of the spotless kitchen was a secret door that startled the hell out of me as the maid opened it. We descended a long flight of stairs. At first I wasn't sure if she was showing me the passage to hell or to Blood's secret dungeon, both of which I suspected he had in his mansion. At the end of the stairs was a long hallway filled with open spaced rooms. As if someone put a bunch of storage lockers together and inserted plaster around them to stay in place. "And here at the end of the sub-kitchen is the bakery!" She gleefully said. The sub-kitchen's bakery took up half of the area. "Thank you." I told her, walking ahead. "But I didn't show you where the..." I didn't hear her as I marveled the scene around me.

"Excuse!" "Hot Pies!" "Hey, girls did you hear..." The smell of fresh baked bread and pastries, the hustle and bustle, they made me think of home. "Miss, miss are you okay?" A timid sounding faceless maid questioned. I opened my eyes. "Hum?" "Ummm, master Blood and company rarely come down here." She squeaked. "May! MAY!" A voice called. The maid jumped and ran in the direction of the voice. "Wait!" I called, chasing after her. I slowed to a stop, heaving, when the maid did. "May! Where have you..." The other maid or baker, demanded trailing off when she saw me. I wasn't sure which she fell under, I assumed baker. "Oh, my!' She wiped her hands on her apron and offered it to me.

I took it and shook. 'It's a pleasure to meet you miss (name). We rarely ever get visitors down here." "So I hear." I reply. "Whelp! May, you're excused. But you need to go back and watch that pie, I think it'll be ready in a few." "Yes, ma'am." May yelped, rushing away. "Tsk, tsk.' The baker lady said. 'I'm sorry, she's usually not this jumpy. So what brings you down here?" She quizzed. "I, ummm, I want to know how to bake at carrot cake?" "A carrot cake, huh?' She questioned 'well you and master Elliot are going to eat us out of carrots before long, but it's okay. I can show you. We got one in the oven due to come out, I'll show you how to pipe the icing." The baker lady stated. "Thank you!" I reply, smiling.

The baker lady showed me how they handmade the icing. She even let me help. Whew! Elliot's going to be blown away when I bring this cake to him, you think happily. "Is that what I think it is?" A rough male voice called. "Oh my dear boy, you always come before we finish." I heard the baker lady exclaim. 'And we have this angel working with us too!" I don't turn around, afraid Elliot will see me blushing. "Angel? Who do you-" Elliot stops when he sees me. "(Name), is that you?" "Guilty as charged." I sheepishly reply, turning around. "Wow I didn't know you liked carrots too? What a coincidence." He marveled. "Yeah, what a coincidence." You answer blushing. The intensity of Elliot's stare was making you feel nervous.

"Well, what have you got for me today?" Elliot asks, sticking his finger in the icing. I watch as he sticks his finger back in his mouth, his tongue making circles around it, tasting its goodness. I imagine him kissing me with that tongue, pushing that pleasure forcibly against my tongue. His tongue tasting my mouth, groaning in satisfaction. I moaned a tad, causing Elliot to look up at me. "I'm sorry, (name) you want some?" He asked. I was startled. "S-Su-sure!" I retorted. Now's your chance, a tiny voice in my head whispered.

Oh yeah, I smiled wickedly. I'm supposed to be making him crazy with longing. So I'm going off script, who cares, I think leaning across the island toward Elliot. I knew he could see slightly down my shirt as I bent forward. I remembered that I unbuttoned it as it became hotter in the bakery. Elliot coughed, his eyes averting to my breast. "That looks yummy." I say. "Yeah, ummm you should try some." He said disorderedly. I watched as he stuck his finger absentmindedly in the bowl, still staring at my chest. "Hey, no fair.' I cry. Elliot looks up, a blush crossing his face. 'You said I could have some." I state, grabbing his icing covered finger and licking. I watched as Elliot's eyes grew big. "Yum." I hum against his hand, inserting the whole finger in my mouth. "Umm, (name)' he looks around, his face reddening. 'I, uhh..." I loop my tongue around his finger and suck one good time. Elliot grunts in surprise. I release his finger and smile, licking the icing I purposely left on the side of my mouth. "You're right, Elliot! It is amazing." I fake excitedly.

Elliot turns his head away from me. "Yeah, it is...' His blush increases as he clears his throat. 'Uh, I think... I need to go back to work." He rushes, practically running away from the room. "Well what was that about?" I ask the baker lady. She chuckles. "You know miss, you could have used a spoon. I think master Elliot was shocked at you using his finger in place of." "Probably.' I shrug 'but I didn't see a spoon and he was hogging all the icing." The baker lady chuckled again. "You are one funny lady. I like that. Now back to work!" She called to her assistants. "And you miss, I think, have had enough of the cake business today." She responded gently pushing me out the decoration station. I just laughed. If only she knew. So I'll check number two in the magazine, off as a success, sort of. At least it got Elliot to see me. And that's a win in and of itself.


	4. Chapter 3: Skin Showing

_**3.** __**Reveal a little to let him imagine a lot **_

_This one is a no brainier. Men are visual learners. Turn up the heat by wearing just a jacket. He'll wonder if you are wearing something underneath it. The idea that you aren't, should drive him mad. Even letting a slightly larger shirt fall off your shoulders should do the trick._

Reveal a little to let him imagine a lot. What am I supposed to do about that one? I only came to this world with that blue frilly dress. Somehow, I don't think that's 'alluring' enough.

*knock,knock*

"Who is it?" I call. A faceless maid walks in. "Excuse me, (name)" "Yes?" "I was collecting the Masters' clothing and I wanted to know if you had any dirty clothes for me to wash." Dirty clothes, I considered. "Let me check." I told her, an idea spinning in my head. Something revealing, I think, opening my closet. I remember that I had a sweater around here….Somewhere. "(name), did you have anything?"

"Huh?" I asked, turning around. I forgot about her. "Oh, no I don't, but I have a question." "Anything (name)." She said "Do you….' I tried to think of a way to say it. "Which masters' clothing are you washing?" I tentatively ask. Her smile faltered. "Master Blood, Master Elliot, and the twin masters." Elliot. I could see an idea cementing inside of my head. "One more question" I stated as she tried to back away. "Yes, (name)?" She questioned "When do you think the clothes will be ready?" "Ready?" she inquired "Like do you deliver them to the actual person or to their bedrooms?" She was quiet. "Hum…?" "Oh, we deliver Master Blood's clothes to his room, Master Elliot's to his study, and the twin masters' to the gate so they can take it to their rooms." "And what time do you deliver these fresh linen to the masters'?" I probed. "At exactly 4 o'clock." She chirped "Okay, you may go." "Sure thing." She uttered, backing away.

As soon as the door clicked, I rushed to my closet. I remembered what the article said about a shirt, or in my case a sweater. This particular sweater falls off your shoulder. Hoping to find this miraculous sweater, I dug into my closet.

After an hour of searching, I found it! It was white with a wide neckline that stretched all the way to my shoulders. I knew because of its size the sweater would always fall off my shoulders. I was aware this would reveal enough without showing off a lot. Now a good bra and a short skirt was all I needed to finish my plan. I stood in the mirror staring at myself. I had on a bright red bra and lace panties that stuck to my butt like glue.

To get Elliot I had to plan this one just right, but I wasn't sure how long it would take for the maids to finish washing his clothes. Probably 20 to 30 minutes, I contemplated. I stared at my clock it's about 2:40 now. I planned on showing up in Elliot's office around 3:35, about 25 minutes until four. My off the shoulder sweater, pale blue skirt that barely passed my butt, and sexy lingerie made me a force to be reckoned with. Elliots' not gonna know what hit him! I cheer, spinning around.

At 3:39 I arrived at Elliots' study door. Here goes nothing, I thought, opening the door. Elliot sat at his chair, scribbling something down in his notes. He barely glanced at the page he flipped on some packet. He looks busy maybe I should – Elliot looks up. "(name)? Why are you here, I mean, what are you doing here?" he asked, putting his pencil down. I tried not to smile in victory as I see his eyes roam over my body.

"Oh, Elliot I'm useless!" I cry in exasperation, falling down in a chair. "U-U–useless." He stutters. "Yes." I whine. "I was wondering if maybe you could show me what you do." I quietly whisper.

My shoulders droop as my sweater falls off to the side. I look up at Elliot's open mouth. He was unable to tear his eyes away from my shoulder. "You should, uhhhh' he looks up to the ceiling 'check the books if you want to." "Really!" I exclaim hopping up and leaning over his desk "Yes, (name) you…' He trails off when he realizes that my big shirt provides full access to see down my chest. 'You, ummm, (name), I think-" "Yes, Elliot?" You ask innocently. "I think, I mean-" "What's wrong, Elliot?" I questioned. He stares at my chest again then looks away. I could see the blush rising on his hidden face. "Here, maybe this will help you focus." I state walking around his desk. "What will-" he stopped short.

I was in his personal space and he knew there was no getting rid of me now. "Move over." I demanded. "Move...over?" He questioned. "Yes silly' I giggled 'you have to show me how to read these ridiculously long notes and letters." "Yes, sure." He automatically answered, pushing his chair to the side. "Now I was reading this' I bent over the desk to grab a stack of paper. I felt air rush up my skirt and knew I had him. Elliot could see my panties. His soft groan was conformation for me 'And I can't make sense of it." I told him, glancing over my shoulder. The March Hare sat in his chair with his coat over his private area, and closed eyes. I hoped he was thinking of me. "Elliot?' I ask. He opens those beautiful purple eyes of his.

'What's wrong with you, you've been acting strange since I got in here." The look on his face said it all. He thought that this was 'normal' from where I come from. He assumed that I was unaware of my actions.

"Yes, well I've been under a lot of stress and-" someone was knocking on the door. "Come in!" I reply. A faceless maid walks in "Oh, excuse me, Master Elliot, Miss (name). I was just delivering your clean clothes." She smiled, curtsying "Just put them over there." He said, pointing to a window seat. "Very well, sir." She responded. "You may go." He told her as she placed them down. The maid curtsied then left. "Now back to what I was saying, Elliot-" "(name) could you-could you.' He squeezed his eyes shut 'put on some other clothes." He waved his hand in the direction of the fresh shirts. Other clothes, you thought sourly, why isn't he pushing all his things off his desk and having his way with you? But then you think of something. He just pointed to his shirt and nothing more.

"Okay." You reply, trying to sound cautious. "Yes, I fear that you might be cold in your attire and won't focus on the task at hand." He stated, his voice regaining control. "If you say so." You draw out, pulling on the sleeve of your sweater. "And furthermore, I think-" he opens his eyes. You know he sees you, sweater off, butt up as your bent over looking for a shirt that's large enough. "You think what?" You casually inquire. "I think, I think, I think I need fresh air." Elliot rushes, pushing his chair back. "But Elliot what about our lesson?" I ask hoping to get him to reconsider. He's so close to taking me, I know it! "No, no not today." He hurries, practically wobbling away. "But, Elliot-" that's when he slams the door closed. I dropped the act and sat back on the window seat. Smiling, I say aloud "Not too shabby, you still have it after all."


End file.
